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I remember many times in my life, though I was determined to serve the Lord, that I had these types of trials. One in particular went on for several months. In my second year as a believer, God called me to ‘forsake all’ and follow him, without any preconditions.  I was resisting God, saying ‘Yes, but…”. I was putting up resistance to total surrender, because it hurt.

This was in some ways like the rich young ruler who came to Jesus, a self-righteous man who thought that he had kept the commandments (Matthew 19:16-26). But thankfully it was not the same sort of outcome. I was not claiming that I had kept all the commandments but I was certainly holding back on God.  Jesus told the rich young ruler to sell all that he had and ‘come follow me’.  He was saying the same to me then.

Me Chris 1977
With my wife Christina one year after we were married (1977)

In my case, I knew I had to ‘forsake all’, all of my own plans for my life, as a career in physics research, and follow Christ. But that part was the easiest. I also knew I had to forsake, in my heart, my girlfriend who at the time I hoping to marry. But God wanted me to put Him first in my life. So a battle really raged in my heart and soul. I was being put in the fire. And when I finally gave in to God, that battle stopped immediately.

The upshot of that was: I wrote to my girlfriend at the time and told her how I was going to follow Christ as His disciple (in 1974) and she dropped me, saying I was becoming too religious for her (and that was strange because we was on a Catholic mission at the time).  But not only that battle ceased then, that was also the same time I met Christina, who 2 years later became my wife. She was the one God wanted me to marry, to better serve Him and to better keep me humble, I am sure.

DR Nov 11 E

This purging and purifying the author here speaks of is personal. A Christian’s life is not smooth. If it was then Satan has us exactly where he wants us. But God uses the devil as an agent for His own good.


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