CERN Large Hadron Collider (LHC): Particles race around the 27 km circuit in perfect vacuum

On April 1st 2024 the CERN home page stated “A quasi-stable black hole created at CERN“. Scientists believe that this is a doorway to a parallel universe. The mini black hole created an opening to a small worm-hole connecting another universe. But critics fear the black hole will become unstable and start consuming the planet, the solar system and eventually the whole universe.

The Large Hadron Collider (LHC) at CERN was upgraded and restarted in April 2022. Since then scientists have been pushing the energy levels in the beamline up to 14 TeV. That is, 14 Trillion electron Volts. That’s a lot of electron volts. With that level of power the first black hole in a lab was created, which the engineers there say they can control. It is stable for now. Phew!

Beams of protons are accelerated around the 27 km circuit in a near perfect vacuum to reach a speed of 99.99% the speed of light. By smashing two opposing beams of protons head on into each other the scientists were able to crack open a worm-hole into subspace, the pathway to a parallel universe. Some say is a portal to the underworld.

The first major surprise was that radiation emanating from the black hole seemed to contain a transmission from an intelligent lifeform. Scientists are now scrambling to decode that transmission. This is big news because it proves life exists in the dark world on the other side of the interdimensional divide. Will it turn out to be malevolent or not? We shall see. Some religious people are saying they are hearing from demons, others believe they are gods.

The stability of the black hole is the biggest problem at the moment. However because the mini black hole carries a charge it can be suspended in a strong magnetic field. To achieve this the scientists are using the most powerful magnet ever created — 14,000-tonne CMS detector. Thankfully it was available for use after the upgrade.

But questions remains. Have they created a portal to another dimension? Will the black hole consume the planet and the universe? The late professor Stephen Hawking seemed to think so.

In 2012 after the claimed discovery of the Higgs boson, the so-called God particle, at CERN, Hawking wrote in the preface to a book:

“The Higgs potential has the worrisome feature that it might become metastable at energies above 100 [billion] gigaelectronvolts (GeV). This could mean that the universe could undergo catastrophic vacuum decay, with a bubble of the true vacuum expanding at the speed of light. This could happen at any time and we wouldn’t see it coming.”

Preface to the book Starmus

Now 12 years later the LHC has created these conditions but at much higher energy levels, trillions not billions of electron volts. Will it consume the universe? It could but we wouldn’t see it coming! I would get right with God if I was you. There is very little time left.

And once the trans-dimensional portal is fully functioning who knows who will come through it? Perhaps even Captain James T. Kirk and Spock. I have always wanted to meet them.

Stay tuned to this channel and I’ll keep you updated as this story develops. This is SATIRE. But read this non-satire piece. Is the LHC Opening a Door to Hell? I Am Not ConCERNed!


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One response to “Black Hole Created at CERN!”

  1. Good job, Dr Hartnett.
    Singularitally very clever.
    Thanks.

    Like

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