A letter to a colleague written April 1st, 2015, published April 6th, 2015.
Dear Obsidian Noire,
Thank you so much for you recent theoretical proofs in the Dark Matter Sector.1 The following is how I usually explain Dark Matter and those other entities from the Dark Sector to those who have doubts.
God said “Let there be light!” The reason: the Universe began in total darkness.
For a long time the correct meaning of this statement in Genesis chapter 1 had been once lost in darkness, but we now know for science has shown us what it really means. The author of the text really meant that because even God could not see what He was doing, He created light. He had to. Once the light separated from the Darkness He could see enough to start sorting out the chaotic mess that had formed. But this way of speaking was just how the ‘early primitives’ thought and spoke about the Universe. We now know better. I will try to explain this in the simplest terms.
At the beginning the Darkness was all around in many forms including Dark Energy, Dark Radiation, Dark Flows, Dark Holes (also called black holes) and the most ubiquitous stuff of all, Dark Matter. All these entities belong to what we call in physics the ‘Dark Sector’, which now has become firmly established through modern science.
The Dark Ages was that period in the history of the Universe just after the big bang, when Dark Matter assembled the necessary materials to build all stars and galaxies. God was not involved so much in that as He was busy keeping the Darkness out while He created normal matter—protons and neutrons etc., the stuff we do observe in the Universe. Well, He started off the Universe in a big bang, that took a lot out of Him, and as a result the Darkness eventually won.
Dark Matter now makes up 85% of the matter content of the Universe, which is about 22% of its total matter/energy content. At the beginning, it was very annoying for God because as He tried to make galaxies from the normal matter the Dark Matter would always get in the way. This came about after He created the universal law of gravitation. The Dark Matter would be drawn into the galaxies He was making because of the action of the law of gravitation but the Dark Matter wouldn’t do as was expected. It always hung around the outskirts of the disks of the spiral galaxies and it would draw all the galaxies into clusters and superclusters. This was really annoying because as the clusters formed, the Dark Matter really dominated the normal stuff. The Dark Matter was by its nature really overbearing and dominating. (We can all relate to that—who does not have a ‘friend’ like that?)
As the Solar System formed it needed Dark Matter – God could not keep the Dark Matter out. Some so-called ‘creationists’2 say God made a beautiful planetary system, with the Sun at the centre, and a beautiful blue planet where upon, they say, He created life but then let it evolve. We now know that was about 3.8 billion years ago according to the science. But the Darkness was not happy with just that. This was because the Darkness was not given all the credit, but we now know that it really was just Dark Matter. (As a rule now, most scientists correctly assume that whatever we can’t explain was due to Dark Matter and sometimes some of its associates.)
The innermost planet, Mercury, was very slick, and travelled just slightly too fast in its orbit. This was noticed before 1900 by astronomers. After investigating this they realized that the cause of this problem was Dark Matter. The Dark stuff had gotten into the inner Solar System. Dark Matter particles could pass through any normal matter, so you couldn’t keep them out. There were simply no walls, bars or barricades that prevented Dark Matter for getting in. But a long time later, a very smart guy was able to conjure up a spell (new physics) that banished that Dark Matter from the inner Solar System. But that is another story.
Since other star systems in the Galaxy were created, or, as we now know ‘evolved,’ long before the one we live in, Dark Matter had penetrated many alien planets. That Dark Matter was able to cause life to evolve from non-living chemistry and as a result, some billion years before life on planet Earth, alien creatures had evolved from the Darkness. (If you have seen the movie Prometheus, you might recognize that it was Dark Matter there that caused the creatures on that planet to evolve in some hideous ways.)
Dark Matter is literally all around us, but nobody sees it. Some biblical creationist physicists are skeptical about its existence3 in the Universe. But that is just silly. They should believe because Dark Matter, or other Dark Sector entities, have been shown to be the cause of most major events in the history of the Universe. Here I describe but a few.
They say God tried to make a perfect creation from Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, but the Darkness intervened and corrupted that. Well, really, truth be known, the Darkness had been busy for billions of years evolving away also sorts of violent creatures on Earth. This is where the dinosaurs came from—straight out of the Darkness. But what caused their extinction? Some have suggested Dark Matter killed the dinosaurs.4
As the dinosaurs grew, many became very large, so large in fact that the Dark Matter, which had been accumulating around the Earth wiped them out. Some scientists believe this happened through bombardment of the planet by asteroids which had been knocked towards the Earth by Dark Matter in the outer Solar System and nearby in the Galaxy. This is the most favoured theory at present. Others suggested the dinosaurs actually were killed off by Dark Radiation, a theory which has been accepted by some. Some even suggested the big dinosaurs lost their heads as they collided with Dark Matter chunks but that theory isn’t taken very seriously. One thing we can say for sure is that all the mass extinctions, which the Earth has endured, were caused by the Darkness in one form or another.
Then there were the Ice Ages. Yes, you guessed it, these were the result of Dark Flows—outflow of streams of Dark Matter. This type of Darkness caused unusually fast cooling of the continental masses, which resulted in those Ice Ages. Those periods of bitterly cold weather shaped the fauna we have on Earth today. The last Ice Age was actually one of many, which should have really been called ‘Dark Ages.’ But only one period of Earth history was called a ‘Dark Age,’ and it was not as cold as these others.
You might ask though: How did the mammoths all die out in the last Ice Age? Dark Matter, again, I am afraid. You might think I am just making this stuff up—calling in Dark Matter as the answer to any unsolved problem, because we scientists can’t figure out what happened. But that is not so. This is science.
Dark Matter exists. Just because you can’t see, touch or feel it does not mean it is not there. Everything in the room, all around you wherever you are, is made up of 85% Dark Matter. And it close associate, Dark Energy is everywhere, a form of energy, like you never heard of before. Just because we experimentally cannot verify this stuff in any sort of a laboratory experiment does not mean it does not exist. Just because the more we observe Dark Matter in galaxy collisions and such the less we understand about it, does not mean it does not exist.5 It just means it is much more complex than we ever thought.
You don’t have to trust what I say. But trust in the science! Science eventually always gets it right. The best science today tells us that Dark Matter, Dark Energy, Dark Radiation and anything else from the Dark Matter Sector are the best explanation for not only all the mass extinctions on Earth, the Ice Ages, and the formation of planets, but also the formation of stars and galaxies, in fact, the whole Universe. Without Dark Matter there is just no way a star or galaxy could form (that’s an absolute fact), so God (read ‘the Universe’) had to use the Dark stuff to create them. He (the Universe) had no choice. But that is just another way of saying that it was Dark Matter that did all the creating in the Universe. Actually Dark Matter is the unknown God!6
Believe! I say believe in the science. Trust in Science. It never fails and always gets it right. Don’t listen to those biblical creationists who say that God supernaturally made it all.7 Science tells us He used the big bang and evolution and that needs a lot of Darkness to work.
I hope that clears that up.
- Dr Noire received his PhD in particle physics in the Dark Sector. His work saw the successful development of a theory that describes all the Dark Sector particles. As soon as they are discovered in laboratory experiments he will surely get a Nobel Prize—it is only a matter of time. The science is robust even though not a single shred of laboratory evidence has ever been found to support their existence.
- ‘Theistic evolutionists’ or ‘evolutionary creationists’, it does not matter; it is just semantics.
- John Gideon Hartnett is one of them. See www.johnhartnett.org .
- Sid Perkins, Did dark matter kill the dinosaurs? Science News, 20 February 2015.
- Dark matter even darker than once thought, ScienceDaily, 26 March 2015
- John G. Hartnett, Is ‘Dark Matter’ the ‘Unknown God’?
- You may find their claims on http://www.johnhartnett.org, or http://www.creation.com.
- If you haven’t guessed it, ‘Ali Frolop’ is an anagram of ‘April Fool’. April 1st is April Fool’s day when people play jokes on their friends. This means, if you didn’t know, that this prose is all satire, with a serious not-so-subtle message embedded therein.
4 replies on “Theory of Everything by Dark Matter”
This person really doesn’t understand what the terms ‘omnipotent’ or ‘omnipresent’ mean. By tacit he/she dosn’t understand what the term ‘God’ means either. Its actually rather sad to see someone with a great inquiring mind write a whole article about how dim they are. 😦 ….there is hope, Christ is God and the holy spirit may lead them to enlightenment 🙂
Of course the point is to highlight the inconsistencies not in one researcher’s mind but in the minds of different researchers. As a result this fictious author appears internally inconsistent. Thus it is not intended as a slight on anyone but on the absurdity the so-called science has become.
I knew it was rubbish as I knew a little about John Hartnett but did not get the gist of it all until Ali Frolop was explained
Sorry, it is a poor attempt at satire.